Then there was this dumbness about Bianca's childhood:īIANCA'S PARENTS: Yeah, so we've not told you the truth about everything that ever was.īIANCA'S PARENTS: We told you nice stories about drinking blood in order to make sure you're eager to become a vampire & avoid an unpleasant, painful fate as a wraith, because we love you & want you to be as happy as possible with your vampiric heritage.īIANCA: Piss off, Mom & Dad. My precious Lucas will be totally okay with this. Somehow I've convinced myself this is a win/win scenario.īIANCA: Woohoo! Are you sure my precious Lucas won't mind?īALTHAZAR: He'll understand because I'm bringing you to cop a feel.īIANCA: Your Cunning Plan(TM) is awesome.

I'm doing this because I want you & would make a suitable mate & I've tried to kill that dipshit Lucas before, but you're still in insta-lust mooncalf lurve & I hate seeing you in pain. See, you can pretend to be my girlfriend because I'm responsible & nice & handsome, so I'll take you off school grounds & we can fake going on dates & kissing & stuff. I realize that the repeated references to Shakespeare were attempting to parallel Lucas & Bianca with Romeo & Juliet.but guess what? Not even Juliet was dumb enough for this:īIANCA: Woe is me, I miss my precious Lucas! But how can we possibly meet, since he's a vampire hunter & I'm a vampire?īALTHAZAR: I've got a Cunning Plan(TM). I can't even count how many times Bianca had the opportunity to ditch Dipshit Gary Stu Lucas - nevermind for her safety, but for the safety of those she supposedly cared about - but did she do it? NO. Rather, the dumbness was planted in a sunny location, watered daily, sprinkled with fertilizer pellets, & serenaded with Mozart.Īside from Vic & Ranulf, everyone in this book was functioning at the height of ineptitude. I was (reluctantly) determined to give Stargazer a chance - not because I was wow'd by Book 1, but there was just enough that piqued my interest in how future books would unfold, despite the massive quantity of dumbness in Bianca & Lucas's story.

I've been on a roll with crap YA lately, so feel free to take my gripes with a grain of salt.

Stargazer by claudia gray